What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
