UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
