Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
