I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
