Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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