Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
