sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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