Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just blew my weed a kiss
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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