What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
