you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
