I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
