is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize