Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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