I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
