I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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