We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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