You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You pole danced in your parka.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize