They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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