Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize