did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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