I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
