absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
