If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i now understand why vodka
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize