Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
