but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
