i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
