Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
