it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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