Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
