It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
