Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
