So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
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