winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
birth control should be required to get into college
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
