I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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