I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
