OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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