I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
