Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
