i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
