she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
