Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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