you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize