You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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