If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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