im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
