If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im part way to drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I know her cup size but not her name....
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