Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize