i already hear my dad disowning me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
