Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize