But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
