I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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