That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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