he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
