We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
