I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
