I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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